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“Ow!”  Ike cried as he hit his head on the top of his bunk, right on the bruise on his forehead.  I will never get used to the ceiling on these beds.  They’re worse than the old bunk beds at home!  As he groggily massaged the bump on his forehead and swiped the sleepsand from his eyes, Ike switched on the overhead lamp in his bunk.  Yawning, he lay in bed for a few minutes more.  He thought about the scrapbook he wanted to put together and pulled several packets of photos out of a bag.  There were several rolls from Europe, almost as many from the Canadian and US concerts, as well as a couple packets taken at home before the tour began.  There was even a full-length shot of the Eiffel Tower with the entire Hanson clan posing at the bottom using Ashley’s new APS camera.  It’s so stupid and yet so much fun, Ike thought with a smile.

“Wonder how they’ll get a frame for it,” he said to himself.  He flipped back a few pictures and found a picture of his friends gathered in front of his house the day they left to begin their tour in Europe.

“What are you looking at?”  Taylor was hanging over the edge of his bunk by his legs and had stuck his head through Ike’s curtain.  “Ooh,” he exclaimed, spying the photos, “Cool.  Hey, don’t you wish we could stay at home for a week or two before we start up again?  Don’tcha don’tcha don’tcha?  And why don’t you do that outside?  There’s no one in the rear lounge; everyone’s either in the front lounge, still in their bunks, or riding in something else at the moment.  You look like a pretzel!”  True, Isaac’s legs were getting cramped.

“Why are you so freakin’ perky today?  And where are we?  How late is it?”  Ike asked as he untwisted himself and gathered up his photographs.

“Eleven and a half straight hours of sleep, and two cups of black coffee tend to make most people feel, behave, and look much better, especially after living for weeks on 5 hours a day.  Now you on the other hand…” he trailed off.  “It will be precisely 12:28:45, no, make that 50, PM at the time of the beep…BEEP!  And we’re going through Tennessee, I think.  We might be home by dinnertime, woohoo!  Maybe Mom will make cookies or brownies tomorrow,” Taylor said as he did a neat little flip on to the ground.  He practically bounced to the refrigerator.  “Hungry?  I’m famished.”

“Yeah, you really do need to eat more.  Toss me a muffin or bagel or something, will you?”  Ike sat down in the rear lounge and spread out his pictures on the table.

“Hey, I’m bulking up!  Haven’t you read all those letters coming in?  ‘Dear Taylor, you looked soooooo hot at the show!  I just absolutely love your six-pack!’”  Tay said in a falsetto, imitating a love-struck airhead. 

“Uh-huh, sure, whatever you want to tell yourself, Scrawny,” Ike replied while Taylor went back to scrounging in the fridge.  As he munched on a huge chocolate chip muffin, Ike turned his attention a photo of Céline and himself having an argument outside of Katarine’s lair.  Taylor had gone a bit snap-happy after Céline’s rather dramatic rescue.  However, Isaac was not in a mood to be photographed.  The next photo in the roll was about 50% covered with a hand-shaped blotch.  Through the gaps between the fingers, you could see an arm, leading to an extremely annoyed Isaac.  The next picture was that of Taylor shooting death looks at the person behind the camera while pulling POLICE LINE - DO NOT CROSS tape off his hands.

“Ah memories!”  Taylor came and draped himself dramatically on the couch.  “You know, these are going to be the photos our grandkids use to illustrate our biographies when we’re long gone dead.”

“Yeah, I can just imagine it,” Isaac said, a little sadly.  He knew what had happened was probably for the best, but he couldn’t help wishing a little that things might have turned out better.

“So how are we gonna do this?”  Ike yawned at the police officer that had arrived.  “Shall I send her my cell phone number?  I mean, we could always change it after this whole…thing…is through, right?” he asked nervously.

“Yes, I don’t think we have any choice but to follow through with what she wants.  It’s the safety of another human being in danger if we don’t and I think that’s too big a risk when we can easily comply for the time being,” Captain Hawkefield said.

“Is there any way we could have her arrested, or institutionalized?  Or would telling her parents help any?”  Ike asked.

“Arrested, maybe.  Institutionalized, I’m not so sure.  Telling her parents, I don’t know how much help that would be; they don’t seem to have much control over their daughter.  It can’t hurt though.  We’ll put out some feelers and see what happens,” replied Captain Hawkefield.

“Hey guys, I don’t know if this will help, but her uncle’s Michael Ozone or something. He’s a big guy, CEO or the like, at Heathrow Airport.  Maybe he could do something to help or you could get to her parents through him?”  Ike asked.

“It could help.  We’ll look into that too.”

“I say send her the number of your cell phone and then we’ll see what she wants.  Lara gave you her address, right?”  Jason asked.

“That’d probably be the best course for now.  Ike, do it,” said the captain.

“Yeah, its lavendarhanson@juno.com.  I’ll send it right now,” Ike said. 

He walked into his room of the suite to find Taylor already connected to the Internet and typing sporadically.  Zac was standing behind him with a smirk on his face.  “Hey, move it, I need to use the computer!”

“Well, you can wait a few minutes,” was Zac’s answer.  Before Ike could protest, Taylor grabbed his face and tilted it towards the screen so he could see why he didn’t need to email Katarine right then.  [AN: Again people, FAKE screennames.]

mfmlwalkytalky: hi are you a hanson fan?
IkelovesMe: Hello.  I am more than a mere fan.
mfmlwalkytalky: OK, sure.  my name’s Jessica. What’s yours?  a/s/l?
IkelovesMe: Where did you get my screenname?

“Oh boy, is that who I think it is?”  Ike asked.  Taylor merely nodded and continued typing.

mfmlwalkytalky: I’m not e-zac-ly sure, someone told me it sometime.  someone I forget who said you were nice to talk to n I was bored so I figured i’d say hi.

“That’s so lame.  Like she’ll actually fall for that,” Ike said.

IkelovesMe: ok, cool
IkelovesMe: Kat, 17/f/MA

“Ok, so I stand corrected.  Dad!  Mister Police-guy!  Jay!  Get over here quick!  Katerine’s still in Massachusetts,” Isaac blared into the other room.  “How on earth did you get her screenname?”

“Isaac, don’t shout so loud, I’m still on the phone with Mrs. Prévost and Mackenzie and Avery are still asleep!  And Mister Police-guy’s name is Captain Hawkefield!”  Diana scolded as she peered through the doorway, one hand covering the mouthpiece of the phone.

mfmlwalkytalky: really?  i’m 14/f/MA.  what part are you in?  i’m in Andover.

IkelovesMe: I’m near Boston
mfmlwalkytalky: i’m so glad i can talk to you, noone else is online and i’m soooooooo bored.
IkelovesMe: I L-Ike your sn.
mfmlwalkytalky: thanks, yours is cool too
IkelovesMe: It’s true, you know.
mfmlwalkytalky: um, o-tay?
IkelovesMe: Ike will love me.  You will soon see an engagement announcement for Hanson-Stephenson in all the major papers.  Probably a few minor ones too.  I’m not sure which we will honour with announcements to yet.

“I just ran her email address through the Find Buddy By E-mail thing in IM.  She said it couldn’t be traced but I figured, she’s not thinking quite right so she probably didn’t hide herself very well.  We could probably get quite a bit of stuff out this conversation without her knowing,” said Taylor.  The adults crowded behind his head and watched as the conversation unfurled. 

“I think you’re right.  She can’t help but boast about Miss Prévost, its human nature.  Also, we may be able to get her location even if she’s lying in the message.  Taylor, keep her online as long as possible or until I let you know elsewise.”  The police officer pulled out his cell phone and punched in a number.  “Hello, Grace?  Call someone at America Online and have them trace where the screenname IkelovesMe is originating from.  You got that?  That’s capital I-k-e-l-o-v-e-s-capital M-e.  Narrow it down as close as you possibly can and call me back when you have something.  Yeah, this is for the Hanson stalker, how’d you guess?  If you and AOL hurry, we might be able to cut this short.  Thanks, bye.”

“The messed up spelling and teeny-phrases really add a nice touch, Tay,” Zac commented.  “But I don’t really want to know how you know them all.”

“Shut up,” Tay continued typing.

mfmlwalkytalky: sorry, but u expect me to believe that ISAAC “MMMBOP” HANSON asked u to marry him?

“Hey, I resent the use of the term MMMBOP.  That would be you, not me!”

IkelovesMe: Of course not, I am asking him. 
IkelovesMe: He has no choice but to accept.
mfmlwalkytalky: um, what?
IkelovesMe:  I really shouldn’t say anymore.  But tell me, do you think Ike and I would make a good pair?

“Oh boy,” said Ike.  “She’s really truly lost it.”

“She’s worse off than before.  This young lady needs to get professional help,” Jason added.  “I wonder if we could have her committed?"

“I wonder what she means by ‘He has no choice but to accept’.” Zac said.

mfmlwalkytalky:  Well, I don’t really kno either of you, but it seems like you’d really clik.  I mean, I guess you really like him, and he might like you.
IkelovesMe:  He WILL like me. 

“Time to play up the ego,” Zac said.  “Put in something patronizing.  She’s so delusional, she can’t tell and I bet it’ll make her trust you a bit more."

mfmlwalkytalky:  ur right, of course he will  i mean, how could he not?  I’ve only talked to you a few mintues and even i kno you’re so nice

Captain Hawkefield’s cellphone rang.  “Hello?”  He listened for a few moments and his face lost its eager expression.  “You can’t trace it any farther?  All right, I understand, that’s ok.  Thanks.  Bye”

“Nothing?” asked Walker.

“They traced it to a computer server at Nichols College, but unfortunately there many people connected to that server and we don’t have the resources available to track it down any closer.”

“Hey, is there another computer I can use?  I want to send her my number now, maybe she’ll do something we can work off of,” said Ike.

“Chris has got one, I’ll go pull it from our room, he’s still asleep,” Jason said, walking out of the room.  He returned and plugged in the laptop.  Isaac sat down, did a little clicking, and typed out a quick message.

“Anything?”

IkelovesMe: Thank you, I’m glad you agree.
mfmlwalkytalky:  are u going to any of they’re concerts?
IkelovesMe: I have been to every single concert this summer.  I am attending every concert on the Albertane Tour.

“I don’t think so!” exclaimed Zac.  “The only concert she’ll be going to is the charity concert at the jail.  Or the insane asylum.”

IkelovesMe: Excuse me for a moment.  I have just received an urgent email and need to make a phone call.
mfmlwalkytalky: oh alright, but don’t take much longer than an mmmbop, wilya?  i’m really bored.
IkelovesMe: Of course, brb.

Ike’s cellphone rang from the table.  Picking it up, he, Walker, and Captain Hawkefield left the room.

“What?  You can’t be serious.  She wants a dinner date with IKE?  That can’t be it!  There’s got to be a catch!  There’s something wrong with this!”  Taylor shouted, nearly dropping his cup of coffee.  Everyone sitting in the living room, including Ike, Zac, Captain Hawkefield, Diana, Walker, another police officer, and Jason, turned to look at him.  Taylor caught himself and turned pink.  “Well, there is!” he muttered.

“If there is, we haven’t found it.  We ran a whole battery of questions by Miss Stephenson and we haven’t been able to determine anything wrong or find any loopholes.  She’s given us every bit of information we’ve asked for and more.  She’s also said she won’t hurt Céline.  It seems to be a genuine offer,” replied Captain Hawkefield.

“Or at least as genuine an offer as a deranged, neurotic, psychosomatic stalker can get,” Taylor noted.

“Eh, true.  But Katarine is allowing one other person in so I’ll go along with Ike.  The Boston police department is loaning us enough police toys and stuff to take out the British Army, if she tries any funny business,” Jason said.

“Mom, Dad?  What do you think?  Are you going to let your first-born son and one-third of the family’s breadwinners put himself in exquisitely great danger?  He should not be doing this!”  Taylor exclaimed, standing up.

“If you cannot sit down and listen to everything that has to be said without waking up the entire floor, you can go back to bed.  You are not too old to be sent to your room.  If you want to stay, sit down, behave like a normal human being and don’t yell,” scolded his mom.  Chided and redder than ever, Taylor sat down and took a long drink of his coffee.  “I’ll take that, thank you,” Diana said, reaching over and plucking the cup from his hands.  “As if you need anymore caffeine, you’re already far too worked up,” she took a sip from the mug.  “Your father and I don’t think this is the greatest idea, but it seems feasible and comparatively safe compared to some other options.  Things should be simple, and there’s backup plans in case something goes wrong.  We’ve already been over this with the police and given the OK.  We’re going over it one last time.  Now, Captain Hawkefield, will you please continue?"

“Thanks.  Now, as I understand, you all are booked solid for the next two days.  So, on Friday, the day after the concert, Ike and Jason will go a spot Miss Stephenson specified at 6:00 PM.  Someone will be there to meet you and take you to Miss Stephenson’s choice of location.  We’ll have a person follow them.  We shouldn’t have to make use of them; Isaac and Jason will be equipped to take care of themselves.  The basic plan is go in, tranquilize Miss Stephenson and any others with her, and take Miss Prévost out.  Jason, Ike, several others, and myself will go over possible courses of action during their spare time before Friday night.  I’m sure Jason and Isaac are capable of choosing the best approach once they’re inside.  Miss Stephenson has proved quite clever, but she’s careless without realizing it and she’ll believe almost anything Isaac says, which gives us an extremely good chance of success.  They have their cell phones programmed so that we’re speed dial #1, in case anything goes seriously wrong.  If that line even rings, we’ll take it to be you’re in trouble and figure the best way to work.  We’ve located Miss Stephenson’s parents and they’ll be waiting with us when Ike, Jason, and Céline come out.  After this, I think her parents will agree to putting her an insane asylum,” he finished.

“I think we’re pretty much set.”  Walker stood up and stretched.  “Now I suggest everyone go back to bed.  There’s an early rehearsal tomorrow morning.  Captain, thank you, we’ll see you sometime tomorrow.”

“Hey, great show!”  Rosa plopped down in a chair across from Zac, seated on the couch.  Her parents were talking with the Walker and Diana and her brothers were playing with Mackie and Avery.  Jess was nowhere to be seen.  He turned and smiled.

“Hi!  What’s up?”  Zac said.  “Weren’t you supposed to bring some friend we could set up Ike with?  Um, Kate, I think?” he asked.

“Yeah, but she had to bail.  She said she had to get ready for the date of a lifetime,” Rosa replied. 

“Hey, we’re starting up some video games inside.  Wanna play four person?”  Ike asked.

“Sure,” Rosa said.  The group headed inside.  After a few rounds of Super Mario Kart, Ike’s stomach was aching.  He slid a glance at Rosa and Zac. 

“Hey Tay, I’m starved, wanna get something to eat?” he asked, with a Look. 

“No thanks, I ate right after the show.  I’m not hungry,” said Tay. 

“Yes you are.”  Ike dragged Taylor out of the room and closed the door behind him, leaving Zac and Rosa alone.

“Hey, Rosa, about tomorrow,” Zac started.

“I can’t make it,” she blurted out. 

“Huh?”

“Well, you see, my dad’s here for this conference thing, and the whole family went to this banquet last night and I met this guy there.  His name’s Kevin and he’s really nice and funny and kinda cute, though not quite as cute as you, and he invited me to hang out with him today.  Well, I told him, I couldn’t, I was going to some museums in the morning, and then I had the concert later.  So he said, how about the day after that?  And I told him, I’d call him later and let him know.”  She paused and breathed.  “I know we were supposed to get together, but it turns out Kevin’s mom is some big shot CEO or something and my dad would like me to go and I kinda really wanna go too.  I spent all night debating this in my head and I cannot believe I’m canceling on Zac Hanson, but I decided I’d call Kevin and tell him yes and then tell you tonight.  I’m really glad to know you and I’m really grateful for the tickets and I still love your music and I hope you’re not too mad or disappointed and that you didn’t get the wrong idea.  If you’re mad, it’s your loss.  If you got the wrong idea, I’m sorry, I’ve decided, I just don’t like you like that.  Whew!”  She exhaled and waited for Zac’s reaction. 

“Whoa, nice monologue.  OK, I think I hear you, but let me get this straight:  You met this guy named Kevin, he in essence asked you out, you’d rather hang with him than me, you hope I hadn’t gotten the wrong idea about quote unquote us, and you hope this doesn’t affect our friendship.  Am I right?” he asked.  Hey, now I don’t have to pick between her and Manda!  He thought with a smile.

“A little basic, but yeah.  You’re smiling.  So you’re not mad?” said Rosa.

“Actually, this is pretty convenient on two points.”  Zac stretched out a bit on the couch.  “Tell you the truth, I was gonna tell you I had to cancel too.  I told you about Ike’s stalker, right?”  Rosa nodded.  “Well something turned up with her that I’m not supposed to talk about.  Mom and Dad don’t want it getting all over the press in case someone else gets ideas, but basically, Katarine, she’s the stalker, is holding Ike’s friend/crush/potential girlfriend/whatever hostage for a date,” Zac explained.

“Yikes, I can see why you wouldn’t want that getting out.  So what’s the second reason this is convenient?” she asked.

“Well,” he said, blushing a bit, ”I’ve been practically killing myself the past couple weeks trying to decide who I like better, you or this girl at home, Manda.  Now, since you wouldn’t have me even if I wanted, I don’t have to make a decision, since now there’s only one choice.”

“Zac, you can’t do that to Manda!”  Rosa exclaimed.

“Do what to Manda?”

“She’ll kill you if she finds out you’re thinking of her as a backup or a replacement.  And its not really fair to yourself, either,” she told him.

“I’m still really confused.” 

“OK, let’s put it this way.  How would you feel if someone came up to you and told you:  ‘I like both you and Taylor, but Taylor doesn’t like me so I guess I’m left with you by default’?”

“Oh.”  It started to make a little sense to him now.  “But why is it not fair to me?”

“Geez, you have no knowledge of relationships whatsoever.  Don’t you ever pay attention when Ike and Tay are going on about their girl problems?”  Rosa asked.

“We’re guys, guys don’t discuss their girl problems with each other unless their incredibly serious or incredibly funny.  I haven’t a clue how Tay’s love life is going, and the girls in Ike’s life lately are insane and being discussed in family meetings.”  A muffled noise came from the door.  Rosa hopped up and opened it to find Isaac and Taylor sitting on the floor next to some soda and chips, Taylor massaging his right leg.  He stood up, wincing a little.

“You OK?” asked Rosa.

“Yeah, I’m fine.  My foot fell asleep,” said Taylor.

“Well, sorry boys, you’re gonna have to move now. Go play with our sibs,” she told them.  Miraculously, they obeyed.

“How do you know so much about relationships anyhow?” Zac asked after she sat back down.

“I have older girl-cousins.  They’re like sisters to me,” she simply said.

“Ok, so why is this all not fair to me?"

“Well, I’m not trying to be a snot, but what if you actually like me better?  You’d find yourself unhappy with Manda and you’d have no clue why.  Actually, now that I think about it, are you sure she likes you too?” she asked.

“Man, now I see why Taylor’s always complaining how hard it is to get along with girls,” Zac moaned.  The thought that Manda might not like him had never occurred to him.

“He is?  That could earn some money online, especially if you might be persuaded to reveal a few more details,” Rosa said.  She could think of several specific people who would pay good money for fresh gossip.

“I don’t think so!”  Taylor said from the door.

“Hey, I thought I told you to go play!”

"Well, I guess all that's left is to drop you off and wish you good luck," said Captain Hawkefield as their car approached the corner of Beacon and Park Street Place.

"Yeah, you're gonna need it," added Taylor, who after much pleading and pestering had been allowed to come along while the police dropped off Ike and Jason.  "I mean, you are about to go into hand-to-hand combat with a deranged maniac on her choice of battlefield.  You're gonna need all the luck of the Irish, and all the karma, qi, Force, and divine intervention you can get," he continued.

"Tell me again, why did we let him come along?”  Isaac asked Jason.  It was nice that Tay was worried for him, but the death omens were getting annoying.  He was just thankful Zac had chosen to stay at the hotel writing, though this was a bit surprising since it was usually Taylor on a writing spree and Zac jumping to go places.

"Because I convinced Mom that you needed the moral support and that me and Zac, if he wanted to, should come along if “The Cap'n” didn't mind and if we didn't get in the way," Tay answered for Jason.  He blew a raspberry and took another sip of his double latte.

"More coffee?  Why are you drinking that?  It's 5PM, you’re already hyperactive, you don't need it!”  Jason said.

"Yes I do, it's good!"  Isaac frowned slightly at Taylor's answer and was about to say something before he was interrupted and the thought was lost for the moment.

"There's your ride," the Captain said.  He pointed at a rose pink Saturn parked halfway down the block. 

Sitting in his bed, Zac tore out another sheet of paper from his notebook.  Song #5, he wrote, and then continued.

He set that aside and added another line to the sheet labeled ‘Song #1’.  He surveyed his work, and then leaned back on his bed.  Something underneath him crackled and he pulled ‘Song #4’ out from under his back.  Smoothing out the paper while trying to decipher his own handwriting, Zac caught his eye on the computer, which Taylor had left on.  He gathered his papers and began to type them out.

I belong to you/And you/You belong to me too/You make my life complete/You make me feel so sweet…Lenny Kravitz softly flowed out of the speakers placed around the room.  Has this song even been released yet?  Ike asked himself.  When their car had stopped twenty minutes after they got in, Ike and Jason found themselves standing in front of a large and elegant house outside of Boston.  Jason was standing guard near the doorway by the stairs.  Ike was now sitting on a leather couch waiting for dinner, trying to make polite conversation with the girl who stalked him for months, followed him halfway around the world, kidnapped Céline, and invited/forced him to dinner.

“So…”

“Marry me.”

“What?”  Even though Taylor’s IM conversation with her had warned him she would ask this, it still managed to leave him stunned.

“Marry me,” she repeated. 

“I’m sorry, but no,” he said.

“That wasn’t a question but an order.”  She said this quite pleasantly, as if she thought explaining would make him thrilled to obey.

“I’m not marrying you!  I can’t even vote yet!  I have a career and a life.  I don’t have time for a girlfriend, much less a wife and I don’t even like you!” he choked out.

“Bring her in.”  Katarine said through an intercom attached to the wall.  Some noises came from the staircase by the door and a few moments later, a man large enough to match even Jason walked down behind to Céline.  Isaac swore under his breath. So this is what she meant by ‘He has no choice but to accept’.  He swept a glance over Céline.  She seemed physically to be fine but from the way she was pounding and yelling at the bodyguard, mentally raging.  Then she noticed him.

“You!  You are the reason I’m here!  What are you doing here?  This is all your fault!  Get me out of here!”  Céline screamed at him.  Ike stood, again, stunned.  He had expected her to be very mad at Katarine and maybe even a little bit mad at him, but what he hadn’t expected was her full temper directed at him and only him.

“Take her back,” Katarine ordered.  “My mother has a small house in the Welsh countryside.  It is half an hour by horse to the nearest road, then another three hours by car to the nearest town.  Most people don’t know the town, much less the house, exists.  Marry me or that’s where she,” she tilted her head at Céline’s disappearing figure, “goes.  For good.”  Isaac stared at her, incredulous.  Then he forced himself to switch gears.  OK, time to wonder later.  Now, get Céline out of here.  Neutralize Katarine and her guards.  Jason’s got tranquilizer thingies, he can do that.  Find out how many guards, distract so Jay can get the tranquilizer, buy time.

“Uh, fine.  You’ve got me.  I’ll do it,” Ike said.  Just then, a butler came into the room.

“Supper is ready, Miss Stephenson,” he announced.

“Good,” she said.  Ike watched as her face changed from cold and calculating to desperately lovesick.  “We can plan the wedding over supper.  You won’t regret this Isaac, I promise.  I do love you and you’ll love me too.”

“Well, I guess I could have two best men, and Mackie could be ring bearer,” Isaac said over his plate of filet mignon. I can’t believe I’m discussing this with her.  They were into the main course now and he still hadn’t figured how to get Katarine and her bodyguards so that Jason could tranquilize them.

“I have two cousins who could serve as bridesmaids, the rest live too far away to make it here by next Wednesday, but I’d like to have three.  Do you think Jessie’d want to be one?  You’re on your own with the ushers.”  Katarine said.  The word ‘ushers’ brought an idea to mind.

“She’s a little young, but I think she would.  Hey, would your bodyguards be willing to serve as ushers?”  Ike asked.

“Hey, that’s not a bad idea!  But which ones?  I have five here in the States with me,” she said.

“Well, they should match with the bridesmaids, so you go call them in here and go get pictures of your cousins.  I’ll wait here,” Ike told her.  As soon as she left, he whispered to Jason, who was standing by the door to the kitchen.  “Hey!  When she comes back, I’m going to have her and the guards line up.  Don’t you have some spray tranks?”  When he nodded, Ike continued, "Well, spray them with it then.  Just don’t hit me!”  He sat down and waited for the others to return.  Five guards and Katarine filed back into the room a few moments later.

“Hmm,” he said.  “Katarine,” he started.

“Oh please, do call me Kate, darling.  Katarine is such a mouthful,” she told him.

“Um, OK,” he said.  “Well, Kate, Jess is a little shorter than you are, so why don’t you stand next to each guy and slouch a lot and I’ll see what looks right for that height.”  She giggled and moved next to the first guard.

“How’s him?” she asked.

"Hang on, let me step back and see,” Ike told her.  He moved out from between Jason and the line of people.  Pssssssssssssst!  A thick pale blue spray shot from the doorway towards Katarine and the men. 

“Hey, what do you think your doing?!”  Katarine sputtered.  At least that’s what she tried to sputter.  “Hey, what do you thi-“ was all she got out before she passed out on the floor next to her guards.

“All right!  How long does that stuff last?”  Ike turned to look at Jason.  The big man was tucking what looked like a small can of hairspray back into his pocket. 

“The Captain said the spray isn’t as long-lasting as the drops or the tablets.  It says 25 minutes, but I’d only give it 20 or so, just to be safe,” Jason told him.

“OK.  That’s plenty of time for the police to get here.  Call Captain Hawkefield, will you?  I’m going to go find Céline.”  He left the dining room and went up the stairs.  The first two doors on the right were open and led to empty bedrooms.  Ike searched the closets and then moved on.  The first door on the left only led to a huge white marble bathroom but the second door on the left was locked.  “Hello?” he called through the door.

“Isaac, is that you?  Get me out of here!”  The heavy wooden door did nothing to diminish the anger in Céline’s voice.

“Hang on,” he yelled back.  “The door’s locked.”  He examined the lock for a moment.  It was a simple bedroom doorknob with a deadbolt attached above it.  “I think I can open this.  Gimme a minute,” he told her. 

“You had better hurry up!  I just spent a week prisoner of that, that creature because of you!”  The rants and yelling followed Ike into the other bedroom as he searched for a paperclip.  He found one and a few moments later, he had it bent into the shape he needed. 

“I am so going to kill you once I get out of here!  Hurry up and open the door!”  He slipped the paperclip into little hole and jiggled it around.  As soon as Céline heard the lock click open, the yelling stopped, and the door started to shake as she tried to open it.

“Hold on!  There’s still a bolt on it.  Promise not to kill me when I open it?” he asked. 

“Yeah, yeah, sure!  Just open it!”  Ike threw the deadbolt and the door flew open.  A black-haired streak hurled itself at Isaac and wrapped its hands around his neck.  Ike’s yells as he tried to prevent strangulation brought a pair of police officers running up the stairs.  The officer pried Céline’s hands off of Isaac’s neck and gripped her arms tightly.

<“I thought Jason said they tranquilized the psycho,” the one holding Céline said to her partner, who was helping Isaac off the floor.  This comment didn’t sit well with Céline who began struggling against the police.

“You said you wouldn’t try to kill me when I opened the door!”  Isaac protested, massaging his neck.

“I didn’t.  I tried to grievously hurt you!” Céline snarled at him.

“OK kids, why don’t you take this outside.  The police want to go through the house and you’d be in the way.  Jamie, escort them outside, will you?”  The woman holding Céline walked them out into the yard. Where there are plenty of witnesses, thank God! Isaac thought.  His family had just arrived and Taylor was walking around snapping pictures of the house, and the police.  Katarine and her men were being taken out of the house on stretchers.  A few of the neighbors had come out of their houses to see what the commotion was about.  Seeing him step out of the front door, Diana swept Ike in a huge hug as he stepped outside the front door. 

“Are you OK?” she asked.  “She didn’t do anything to you or try to force you to do anything?"

“Yeah, I’m fine, Mom,” he told her as he hugged her back.  “All she tried to do was force me to marry her, but Jason knocked out her and her bodyguards.  Everything went fine.”

“Well, she’s alright physically, I think.  But she’s really times infinity plus two mad at mad me,” said Ike.

“What?  I thought you two got along great.” asked Diana.

“I don’t know!  She blames me for her being kidnapped!”

“Why?  OK, maybe I’m a little biased, but is it your fault you have a deranged stalker?” Diana asked.

>“Exactly.  I think I’ll tell her that.”  He walked over to Céline and tapped her on the shoulder.  “Would you please explain to me how it is my fault that you got kidnapped?”

“If I had never met you, I would have never come across Katarine,” she said the word as if it left a bad taste in her mouth.  “She is insane!”

“Well excu-u-u-use me for having a psychopathic stalker!  How was I supposed to know she’d go and kidnap you?  I had to pretend I was going to marry her to get you out!”

“Ha!  That’s all?  In order to get food…”  Exiting the house, Taylor heard an argument growing louder.  He turned to see his brother and Céline in the middle of an intense argument.  He walked over and started snapping photos.  He got a really good one of Céline counting off something on her fingers before Ike noticed him.  He had never seen Ike move so fast before; suddenly he found himself without a camera and with bound hands.  Ike quickly took a picture of Taylor and then resumed his argument with Céline.

A much wearier Isaac and family returned to the hotel that night.  He and Céline had calmed down a bit after they watched Katarine meet with her parents and be taken away.  They settled down into a calm polite discussion, with several witnesses present, where Céline calmly and politely told Ike, ”I never wish to see you again ever.”  When Ike protested, she said, “Force the matter and I will have a restraining order on you.”  In the end, he had really no choice but to leave her alone as she wished, to his great disappointment.  Rather depressed, Ike lay down and went to sleep in his clothes.

“Wake up!”  Taylor yelled.  Zac sat straight up in bed. 

“Wha-?  Oh, its just you.”  He rolled over and closed his eyes.

“Go ahead and go back to bed, just tell me what all this stuff on the computer is first.” 

“Oh, oops.  I must have forgot to turn of the computer last night.  That’s what I was writing yesterday evening, songs and stuff.”

“Really?  Hang on, let me get Ike, and we can take a look at them.  Maybe this will distract him for a while.”  Zac hauled himself from bed, went outside, and dropped himself on the couch in front of the computer.  He heard some yells come from Ike’s room, then the two entered.

“Ugh, I feel disgusting.  I need a shower.  This better be good.  Or I’ll, well, I’ll, I don’t know what I’ll do, but it won’t be pretty!”  Ike said as he sat down.  He was not in a bright and cheerful mood.

“Sure, whatever, Ike.  Anyhow, I just got to thinking about our lives lately, or more specifically, the problems in them, especially yours, Ike.  I thought, if nothing else, we could get a whole lot of songs out of the past couple months.  So I started writing,” Zac explained to his brothers.

“The one you have saved as ‘Song 1 - working title: obsession’, this is kinda disturbing.  You sound psychopathic.  I mean, ‘I realize just what I’d do to get you back in my arms.  Because I see you hand in hand with another man’?”  Taylor questioned.

“I like it,” Isaac said, a bit out of the blue.

>“Good,” said Zac.  “It’s the past week of your life in a nutshell from Katerine’s point of view.  I switched the gender, because I don’t think it’d be so smart for us to be singing about another woman.  I mean, enough people think we’re gay as it is.  I was thinking we could do something kinda dark and mysterious for this song.  Kinda creepy-ish,” he said.

“Well, if obsessed stalker is what you were going for,” said Taylor.

“It is.”

“Then you did a scary good job.  I guess its OK.”

“Song 4 - working title: uh-oh.  What’s this about?” Ike asked.  Zac scanned the lyrics: I see you walking out the door/and you know you can hide no more/if I asked you now you’d give that look to kill/it gives you a chill/it gives me a thrill to say/do you love me?

“Well, um,” Zac started, turning a little bit pink.

“Spit it out, Zac,” Taylor said.  “Who you cheating on?” he added with a grin.

“No one!”  Zac protested, ”I was just thinking what might happen to me if Manda and Rosa met each other.  If Rosa actually liked me like that anyways.  Which she doesn’t, as I’m sure you heard through the door,” he added.

“Well that’s a relief!”  Ike said.  “I’d hate to see you on Jerry Springer: Celebrity Two-Timers.  Actually, no I wouldn’t, that’d be kinda funny!

Coming out of his reverie, Ike grabbed a napkin from the holder on the table and a pen that was lying around.

“Woohoo!”  Taylor, carrying Mackie, came dancing through the bus.

“Woohoo!  Woohoo!” repeated Mackie

“What’s so woohoo?” asked Ike.

“Tay-tay says we’re almost home,” Mackie said.

“Less than 500 miles to Tulsa!  Oh yeah, Mom said to tell you not to eat too much, we’re going to stop off somewhere between here and the Arkansas border to get some hot food.  We’re going home!” and with that Taylor and Mackenzie were gone.

Pocketing the scrap of paper, Ike smiled.  He'd work on it later.  He went up to join the rest of his family.  “Woohoo!”

On to Chapter Twenty-Six